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Archive for the ‘That’s me’ Category

Mind full of stuff

Now that the time of the year where I have a lot to do starts again, I find it hard to stop thinking about what I still have to do. My mind can go round and round thinking about exams, planning my future, completing exercises and so on and so forth. It’s really tiring and at the same time, I get so overwhelmed by the amount of tasks that I will do a lot to procrastinate. Fortunately right now, this stuff isn’t useless either, but when it gets more stressful it would be neat to be able to focus.
One strategy is to use (well, I don’t use it, but I write them down elsewhere). But in the long run, I’d like to get a firm grip on what’s necessary, what I should keep in mind, what I can let go and especially how much I should work.
Are there any good strategies you use?


Aromantic, what is this even?

I’m aromantic. This means that I do not feel romantic attraction. Well, at least I haven’t until now. And I don’t really get what this loving stuff is all about. I mean, I like my friends, some relatives, cute animals 😉 but I don’t understand the urge to be with one person alone (not ‘alone in a room’ but ‘in a relationship that’s based on romantic attraction with only one person’). I know sexual attraction, I know how it is to really look forward to meeting certain people, but I don’t know the feeling that makes you want to spend all your time with one person. Or a lot of your time, or whatever.

What annoys me about this isn’t the facts, it’s our society.
A lot of people say “I love hir” when they mean “I want to fuck hir”. And this is really annoying to me because it’s imprecise. There are a lot of different people on this world, who want a lot of different things, but if you don’t articulate what you want in correct words, you feed into the main (western) narrative about heterosexual coupledom, nuclear families and so forth. This doesn’t help anyone. It works much better if you find your own words for what works for you. Maybe you want a homosexual relationship with a woman, but don’t like kissing. Or you want an asexual romantic relationship with two other adults and raise children with them. Or … you get the point.

Maybe my feelings will change. Maybe I will fall in love with a woman or a man or a genderqueer person. Maybe my feelings will change when I get rid of the remaining depressed feelings. But I will always try to understand what I really want and communicate it as well as possible.